March 26, 2012

Dear Diary--Are You Bored Like Me?




Dear Diary,

When last we spoke, I had been thrown into a jail cell for a long weekend and it was the single best forced diet I have ever tried. What they don't tell you about jail is its like the worst highschool gossip nightmare anyone could imagine. You are not separated from people unlike you, you are sleeping, pissing and eating with them. My friend Anna was looking at a 7 year sentence for heroin possession. She was my jail friend, someone I would only know then and never again. I always like to think she is the one Anthony Kiedis wrote about in one of his songs, "she got seven years for being sad." I was released before her and being held for a very bad crime that I did not commit. My boyfriend had his jaw broken in  four places by some gang in Venice. I had driven drunk and hit the car that came after us. By the time we got home Brett was so angry he jumped up and down on my guitar and smashed one of my chairs to my little antique table. Although I was in bed and crying because Brett could not be persuaded to go to the hospital, the cops came because of the screaming. He told the cops I had broken his jaw with the chair leg. Anyone knows that in Los Angeles, if the cops are called and there is a scratch on the other person, they have to take you in. Brett later recounted everything in front of a judge and I was exonerated and the "crime" was expunged from my record. It was a long nightmare, Brett, but I'll never forget him. He's on me like a stain.

When I got out, I was skinny. The jail was in the middle of Los Angeles, near Beachwood. I lived on Argyle. I walked home and sat down and never wanted to be in a relationship again. 

Goodbye. You write to me next. Start it with---Dear Lisa (Wizard of all things Human) and end it with a sincere statement on what it's like to be you, the only one who hears my secrets. Till we meet again. Goodbye.

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