new year's---looking back--the good, the bad and the ugly

happy almost new year people. this year has been hard and glorious. i graduated magna cum laude at ucla after putting off my education for a long time because of not having the money and because i was a musician and thought i would make a go of it.
i'm very unmotivated in some ways though. hate self promotion and am sick to stare at the boxes of my own CD in my room every motherfucking day. (please send money to lisa douglass at p.o. box 481076, los angeles, ca 90048 to rid my bedroom of clutter and to get the most popular CD around to children under six years old. it looks like this. kent geib designed the cover--thanks, kent!

i got into grad school for my writing, where they handed my ass to me and crushed my ego (my friends will say it didn't need it, my haters will say--good job).

went to europe for the first time in my life, saw the eiffel tower and hung out with a crack head in london---it was on accident---i swear it this photo is from the base of montmarte where amelie was filmed.

school started, i began teaching, was of service, got accused of being bad by friends and enemies alike. to all them i just say---if you had my love and respect, i'll miss you. if you lost it, ain't no getting it back.  although some of you still have my respect even if i said we're not talking again. i lost a boyfriend due to my schedule and donated most of my stuff away. i won an award for my unfinished book (which was enough to live on this summer and go to europe) and started dating (again). gained and lost friends because i'm not on their facebook pages enough, but it was never on purpose. i just can't manage my time that well. did i mention i have ADD? apple crashed my hard-drive and had to give me a new computer. i found a dude (thanks mark fox) that retrieved my data for a very small fee. so, don't be like me, a writer who doesn't back up daily, but writes every single day. write and back up, fool.

it's been a challenging game and i've played it well even when you don't play fairly. i'm very grateful for all that i have. and for my brain and for the people who genuinely care about me whether i do what they want me to or not.




this photo was taken with an IV in my arm for dehydration. i had persistent strep throat this holiday season and saw the insides of kaiser way too much. my ailments: carpal tunnel---too much typing----eyes swollen----a vintage sweater i developed a reaction to------depression---(that's my own diagnosis----no doctor says sleeping until 2:30 means you are depressed) and strep throat finally gone. 

this is what happens when you have no one to take care of you and your best idea is to not drink liquid because your throat is too sore and you can't stand up to drive yourself to the hospital.

thank you, jane ford. you did the terrible thing---drive me to kaiser. 


and thank you mark fox for driving me to kaiser yesterday and making fun of Dr. No. That dude was so anal and kept saying i was answering his questions wrong. he reminded me of steve martin though, because his act was just perfect. "you aren't answering my original question," he said that phrase at least seven times. fuck. It's almost over.